Elon Musk has disenchanted me many instances. He purchased my favourite social community and made it dangerous. He has mistreated staff throughout his corporations, and he has completely ruined the enduring comedy of 420 and 69 jokes.

And at this time, he bought my hopes up that he was really going to cage combat Mark Zuckerberg.

I do know higher than to take something Elon says at face worth. I’ve been a part of quite a few editorial conversations about methods to write a couple of man who runs a number of exceptionally highly effective corporations, but consistently talks out of his ass and can’t ship on his guarantees. However one thing appeared totally different this morning, when he tweeted (sure, I’m nonetheless calling them tweets) that the combat was on.

“I spoke to the PM of Italy and Minister of Tradition. They’ve agreed on an epic location,” Musk wrote. “The whole lot achieved pays respect to the previous and current of Italy.”

Appeared like a reasonably definitive assertion! He even vowed to donate proceeds to veterans? However then, the Meta CEO needed to go and produce us again all the way down to Earth.

“I really like this sport and I’ve been able to combat because the day Elon challenged me,” Zuckerberg wrote on Threads, Meta’s Twitter competitor. “If he ever agrees on an precise date, you’ll hear it from me. Till then, please assume something he says has not been agreed on.”

Let’s get one factor out of the best way: it is extremely humorous that the 2 CEOs are taking part in phone and sassing each other on the respective microblogging platforms that they personal, fairly than really talking to one another. However that apart, Zuck’s put up disenchanted me. For one factor, Darrell as soon as agreed to ship me to Rome to cowl the combat on the Colosseum, and I’m 99.99% positive that Darrell was joking, however hey, a squeaky wheel will get the grease. What’s key right here is that nobody at TechCrunch has definitively stated, “No, Amanda, we won’t pay so that you can go to Rome to look at two billionaires combat.”

However I’m not delusional. I do know that my need to eat contemporary pasta will not be an editorial precedence, although a lady can dream.

So why was I so disenchanted to listen to from Zuck that Elon has as soon as once more let me down? It wasn’t as a result of I genuinely believed that I’d be going to Rome for the occasion. As an alternative, I needed to confront an inconvenient fact in regards to the individual I’ve grow to be.

I need Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg to cage combat.

Musk and Zuckerberg each trigger me important misery — not simply because I write about them, however as a result of I care about humanity (and no, not within the Muskian means the place he appears to consider we must always all grow to be baby-making machines in our little house pods on Mars). Zuckerberg’s choices as the pinnacle of a platform utilized by billions have partly led to genocide and the obstruction of democracy. Musk’s negligence in the case of all issues content material moderation and platform security might engender comparable penalties. It’s exhausting to look at these highly effective males frequently make the identical errors, refusing to be taught from themselves or one another. After which, Congress steps in to attempt to regulate these corporations, however inadvertently proposes laws that simply makes issues worse.

So, I made a cope with myself. If I’m going to jot down about social media and keep sane, I have to root for the dumbest issues doable to occur, as long as the implications don’t really trigger hurt. The Musk v. Zuckerberg cage combat is the proper illustration of this: it’s so silly, however the one individuals who will really get harm are the perpetrators of this stupidity themselves.

And that’s all earlier than we even get into the cage combat itself. I really like watching males fall sufferer to their very own hubris — name me Homer — and that’s precisely what Musk has coming for him.

When he’s not attempting to persuade us to put on VR headsets all day, Zuckerberg is getting swole. Actually. He’s discovered the time to win Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu tournaments, all whereas arising with one-liners to get buyers off his again about how a lot cash Actuality Labs is dropping.

Musk, in the meantime, has spent his free time commissioning huge, unlawful gentle installations and suing non-profit hate speech watchdogs.

Zuckerberg is so undeniably the favourite to win this combat, however Musk can’t again down as a result of he’s already made a public dedication. It’s like when he pledged $44 billion to purchase Twitter after which modified his thoughts, besides this time, there’s not even any cash at stake.

I don’t even care to look at the precise combat — that’s not what pursuits me. It’s the fragility of the male ego, for me.

You may have more cash than anybody on the earth, but nonetheless have such a fragile sense of self that you just’ll comply with get your ass kicked inside an historical world surprise. At the least Elon and I can agree on one factor: human nature is unbelievable.